like the other thing is that i should fucking apologize

i am very much attracted to you but it’s been made clear as fucking day that i am indeed some ugly fat fuck who has no other use as a wallet or tool, and a bad one at that

and yet i keep talking to you with some sliver of fucking hope that maybe i get to be with you or some shit, but it isn’t coming, it’s like i’m trying to talk to a fucking tree

man fuck this

i’m fucking crippling inside, looking for any sort of fucking help, but all i get is just people moving the fuck on with their lives, like i’m some fucking bum on the street

you know what, fuck it, carry on

i’ll hit your bar some time but fuck the dinners and all the other shit

i can’t stand the fucking ambiguity, i’m sorry, i’m fucking autistic

i’m trying to get somewhere in life and i can’t have people holding me the fuck back by wasting my fucking time and energy

or what? do you struggle in that as well? am i wasting your time too? i probably fucking am

like you just hang out with your friends and whatever, i don’t fucking roll with your crowd

like don’t even reply, i’m just testing to see if i’m right

and i’m always fucking right

but i’m an engineer, so i always test my hypothese

but if i’m fucking wrong, i’m going to be pissed at myself

i deserve to drown in my own illusion

like fucking help me

i don’t know WHAT this is

oh yeah and the sore throat shit is back again

i think i’m fucked

man i’m in so much fucking pain

what the fuck